I have been convincing myself that I have "the consumption!", more commonly known today as tuberculosis. I'm not sure why I have been so fascinated with it, because it's a very serious and deadly disease that I'm pretty sure most people don't really get nowadays in the United States. I pretend to cough up blood, and then in a strangled, hoarse, and very dramatic voice, I lean on someone's shoulder and wheeze, "'Tis only the consumption, child! I shall be moving on soon, don't worry about me!" Then I clutch my chest and cough some more. For some reason, nobody else thinks it's funny. I need a job or something.
You're not alone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_tuberculosis_victims
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry, you're entertaining me from 500 miles away. ;) Also, I'm pretty sure that's not any worse than whispering creepy things to underclassmen. "Hey. Hey, kid. Do you have any tide to go? I've got some...stains..." "Hey, I've been a huge fan of your...HAIR. Since the first time I saw you."
Oh gosh, so many impressive people had consumption! Thanks for the list. There should be a list of fictional characters with consumption. My personal favorite is Katerina Ivanovna from Crime and Punishment.
ReplyDeleteI just finished that book. Yeah, way to go out with a bang, Katerina. Beat your kids and force them to dance in the street for money.
ReplyDelete