the why

I'm afraid that I say too much without actually saying anything at all, and I'm afraid that if I start to write most of what I think here, it won't be real anymore because it has left my head. My new literature teacher said that we can't hoard ideas; we need to share them with each other in order to have discourse, and accomplish things. I think that life is different than literature though, even though literature can tell us about life-what if your idea escapes and you forget? What if it was never a good one in the first place? Everything becomes more real once said aloud. There are certain things that I want to say but never do, and there is something that I said once but will probably never repeat, and there are stories I've written that will never be seen by anyone, because I am a greedy idea hoarder always hungry for words, for the right words, but they are always just out of my grasp. Writing is different than talking though, because you can be as honest as you want and say that it's only pretend, but if you're honestly pretending while speaking, you're lying. I don't like lying, no matter what you call it, so I like reading and writing words better than hearing and speaking them sometimes. A lot of the time. I like to pretend that I'm pretending and still have it be the truth.